jonathan

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2009-11-06T10:39:11Z

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alone in our bed

2009-10-22T17:31:30Z

you leave our room to go to her
you lay your head down in her lap
she runs her hands through your hair
while I cry alone in our bed

She tells you that it'll be ok
and tries to kiss all your perfect pain away
as I'm just left here putting pen to paper
crying here alone in our bed

I'm glad you have someone to hold you
but I wish your arms where around me
these silent tears are met with sighs
when I cry alone, in our bed

even the kindest ones can turn a blind eye
the ones who love you will ignore your cries
they'll ask for your love while walking out the door
and the most beautiful always knock you to the floor

I don't see how I can compete
with a woman like her, so selfless and sweet
and if what you need is her constant care
how can there be room for us to share?

I thought you might like to know
that I don't know how much longer I
can cry alone..
be here with nothing left
there's no one here, nobodies tears
in our bed.

'cos even the kindest ones can turn a blind eye
the ones who love you will ignore your cries
they'll ask for your love while walking out the door
and the most beautiful always knock you to the floor

~october 22nd 2009 v.j. facile

in conclusion

2009-09-21T08:00:31Z

your actions have forced me to remove you. remember, i brought you into this circle. You chose your side, made your choices, so I now cast you out of it. BARRA

psychology

2009-08-06T18:13:28Z

so talking about conditioned responses, pavlovs experiments, higher order conditioning in my psych class...

makes me think about the past.

i think of thanksgiving four almost five years ago. my wife (sabrina) was taking a nap on my lap as i watched a movie at my parents house after thanksgiving dinner. She was sweet, always nice to my family, cuddly and loving that day. I look back wondering what would have happened if I started a good talk about our relationship that day.

But that night we got into some stupid fight that made really no sense about really stupid shit.. and she declared "i want a divorce!!" and left with her friend.

And never came back.

Now thats all well and good over a lifetime, it turned out to be a really good thing, and eventually led to a lot of personal growth and eventually finding Emily and entering into the best relationship I ever had.

but those memories still bring tears.. (or at least a wetness to my eyes)

is it merely a conditioned response to a person who gives nurturance abandoning me or taking away that nurturance?

being my history and what I went through with my parents.. it certainly seems connected.

yet with every self discovery the mystery just deepens it seems.

~v.j. facile

a new song demo

2009-07-01T12:41:09Z

Breathe by breaking glass

lyrics by emily bein, music and singing by jonathan facile

plastixidol @ 2009-05-09T13:51:00

2009-05-09T20:51:13Z

we're playing our first show tonight at Kimon sushi on 16th and V. We'll go on around 10. Love to see anyone and everyone there, we're very excited.

http://profile.myspace.com/Modules/Applications/Pages/Canvas.aspx?appId=119211

breaking glass

2009-04-27T21:04:34Z

Really, really looking forward to our show on may 9th.. I’ve never been so excited for a show or feel I had such a professional group of talented musicians all working together in one band. Like Kalos, this project started as an extension of my solo work but it has certainly become much more of a “band” than Kalos ever was, with every member contributing their own individual stamp to the songs. Voice lessons and discovering speech level singing has really helped my vocal performance as well, so over all I feel this could be the best show in the best band I’ve been in to date. Needless to say, I’m highly excited.

plastixidol @ 2009-03-31T04:01:00

2009-03-31T11:02:33Z

ugghhh.. i don't know if i'm in allergy hell or have a cold..

the band has it's first show (full band, not just me and brandon) coming may 9th.. although everyone seems to be sick recently so getting a good rehershal in has been a bitch..

still madly in love and falling deeper every day with emily.. i'm still suprised that there are new levels of intimacy and compatibility we still discover...

oh and i don't know if you'll read this as you disapeared from the internet once again, but edith.. that girl from twilight totally looks like you..

except you have tits.. ;)

birthday song

2009-02-14T08:38:09Z

I was happy with this one..

2009-01-15T00:41:34Z

more @ www.youtube.com/plastixidol

the most amazing night of my life..

2009-01-12T05:02:53Z

tonight has to be the best night of my entire life... my beautiful girl Emily did her first art show and sold an amazing amount of prints, which totally impressed the hell out of me.. she's so amazingly talented and it was wonderful to see the public response to her amazing art.. its always nice to have others that give you the power to see your love through their eyes, like its the first time..
brandon and I did a wonderful acoustic show that showcased our own material and a number of covers we made our own.. not really sure if most of the audience was even aware that some songs were covers..heheh Brandon and I spent the past week practicing for about four hours every day and we have created such a musical psychic link that we were able to be completely in tune with one another.. his harmonies and backup vocals have grown to a level that it not only impressed the shit out of me but caused a number of people in our audience to compliment us on how great our harmonies were. We didn't play everything perfect, but we played it together and I really felt that the music we played caused an impact in our audience and gave us a taste of how good we can be.. my voice lessons have definately raised me to a new level... I know that in my past bands I really did go out of key at times, as much as I denied it.. now I can be very confident that I can actually feel the sensations in the body that lets me know I'm hitting my notes perfectly.. so I'm very proud of our performance and yet feel like it was the first step to an amazing journey for us as musicians and performers..
and.. most importantly .. as I finished our cover of "If it be your Will" by Leonard Cohen, a song that held a huge place in my Emily's heart.. that in her young fantasies imagined getting played at her wedding... after singing that last note.. I told her that she was the love of my life, that I wanted to be with her forever, and going on one bended knee.. I asked her if she would marry me.. and she said yes...
for the longest time i swore I'd never get married again.. shit, for almost three years I wouldn't even commit to be someone's boyfriend.. yet her.. this one.. is so the most perfect, amazing, beautiful woman I've ever known.. we are compatible in ways that I wouldn't even hope for.. that I never expected to find in another..
and in the year we've been together.. I honestly have not experienced any red flags, warning signs.. I've just grown to love this woman more and more, deeper and deeper.. sometimes I've wondered if I've ever really loved anyone before, as this feels so different, so new, so amazing..
so, despite my past life, despite my cynicism, despite my fears.. I'm going to marry this girl.. I'm going to marry my best friend, my lover, and now my fiance..
and I'll never, ever let her go.. she's my muse.. my happiness... for the first time in my life, there is someone who inspires me to care more about her happiness than my own, which is not entirely true, as her happiness is what makes me truly happy.. so in a sense, its quite selfish to consciously strive to make her life amazing.. because when she smiles, when she glows.. I feel like I'm living the most beautiful amazing life ever.. more than I had ever hoped for..
I'm luck, I'm happy, I thank whatever divinity is.. that in all the years of heartbreak and betrayal, of cynicism and bitterness.. somehow I managed to keep that fire of romanticism alive.. even if it was sheltered, hidden, unrecognized.. it still lived.. it didn't die..
and now it burns, a flaming fire of passion and romance and nurturance.. of mutual inspiration.. we truly make one another greater by our love.. i feel like i've become such a different person, so much more of a GOOD person, a person that I don't think I ever could have become without her, without this..
she's my dream girl, and I'm gonna marry her..
(it will probably be a long engagement as she really shouldn't have to plan a wedding while going for her college degree)
i have to say.. ever since we started this amazing romance.. I have felt like every day is a blessing, I am so thankful and appreciative of my entire life.. every single day I thank my inner angel, and I thank her .. and the divinity we have created..
this, she, us... it changed my life.. it changed me.. and it is the most powerful, amazing magick i've ever seen..
hope you can share some of this happiness with me, and I sincerely hope everyone of you can experience this as well..
I am,
jonathan facile.. the fiance of Emily Bein

rock!
p.s. thank you Emily, thank you Brandon, Cristos, Rin, Tiffany, Sterling, Bella (MOM!!) and Andy, and Michelle (even though!) and Gina and Robie and Simon and Kiah and everyone who came out tonight.. your all my Family and I love your presence in my life.. your part of what makes my life amazing..

p.s.s I REALLY thank you Andy for giving me your blessing to marry your beautiful Daughter..

taken from shadow's bulletin

2008-10-31T08:21:42Z

The attacks on Rashid Khalidi deserve widespread condemnation. I noted with disgust that Sarah Palin wasn't even able to pronounce his name correctly when she attacked Barack Obama for having known him. I doubt she could even identify Gaza on a map. Such ignorance would be worthy of contempt in someone running for mayor of a city of more than 50,000 people anywhere in America. It's unbelievable in someone who is running to be the next in line PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

Rachid Khalidi is a FUCKING born in NY, American citizen. A mild-mannered historian, well respected by his peers, a leader in scholarship on the Middle East, who teaches in one of America's most prestigious universities. The main front of the McCain campaign's attack is that he was active in the peace process. The McCain campaign, because he has an Arab name, are raising the spectre of terrorism and Al Qaeda. The opposite is true of Khalidi. If anything he is very moderate. I find all of his statements on politics that I have read to be very restrained and very much in the mold of the Anglo-American point of view on a two-state solution.

This virulent racism and xenophobia directed towards anyone of Arab, or Middle Eastern in origin, or who is of the Muslim faith, it's just unbelievably disgusting to me. It isn't right when it is directed at any other group of people and it isn't right now. And the McCain campaign's openly exploiting the fact that people are too ignorant to distinguish between 99% of the world's 1 billion Muslims and the various people of Middle Eastern origin and fundamentalist terrorists... they deserve to lose and to be held up to future generations as creating one of the most openly racist election campaigns in American history.

plastixidol @ 2008-07-08T20:32:00

2008-07-09T03:35:19Z

i had posted a comment to the OURS myspace saying that i had recorded one of there unreleased songs (only had it due to a live bootleg) as my little tribute to them..

today i got a message from jimmy (the frontman/singer/songwriter behind OURS) saying that he listened to my recording and thought it was amazing. even if the guy is just being nice, thats fucking cool!

wow..

fucking power of the digital/internet age.. holy crap..

anyway...

www.myspace.com/facile13

"i heard jimmy singing"

redid a song

2008-07-04T07:32:51Z

saw Ours last friday... after having Jimmy blow my shorts off... took a couple vocal lessons and decided to redo "I heard you (jimmy) singing"

new version up now, listen and let me know how it turned out...

www.myspace.com/facile13

another song -invocations of a broken heart

2008-07-02T08:23:35Z

uploaded a new song (actually wrote it last year but recorded it this week)

"invocations of a broken heart"

www.myspace.com/facile13

was a total BITCH to mix, but here's what I got so far.. questions, comments, constructive criticism is always welcome.

lyrics..

you're an invocation of a broken heart
i knew better from the start
that you still loved him, so why'd we begin
how'd it go this far?

i never thought i'd feel this way
i'm the one who always pulls away
i thought i could take the pain
all away, but you never let me in

so go and float through the night
ride the tides of a thousand faces burning bright
and i'll take it back
this insane crash
of a heart thats cracked and fell too fast
for you..

i still remember the way you kiss
the blood i tasted on your lips
when it seemed like an angelic being
took me over in that state of bliss

you're an invocation of a broken heart
your touch has left me scars
i can't forget, how you took me in
and tore my walls apart

so go and float through the night
ride the tides of a thousand faces burning bright
and i'll take it back
this insane crash
of a heart thats cracked and fell too fast
for you..

fell too fast for you.

and i won't take
i won't call
i won't talk about the past
and if this heart
doesnt break
i'll either find you out there
or you'll float on past...

you're an invocation of a broken heart
an invocation of a broken heart
and i can't stop
this invocation of a broken heart

~v.j. facile 3/7/07

(sorry dominique, still a verse/chorus/verse/chorus/bridge/outro style rock/pop song... i actually find it harder to really get a good hook then it is to write a song without a chorus or the like.. hehe did appreciate your comments though, you didn't need to delete them - although some of them i didn't really understand. hope you can still appreciate it)

in other news, having to listen to my own singing over and over again has caused me to enroll in some vocal lessons.. never realized how i tended to sing a bit sharp at times until i started recording digital

goodbye luv

2008-06-26T20:28:43Z

it was around 8 years ago.. I had recently left my wife of 5 years, Dominique..

when I left she made me promised I'd write her one song.

so one night I was staying at my friend Isreal's house until I was able to get my own place and as everyone was out of the house and the friends I wanted to see where out at the club I was banned from do to some weird drama I STILL don't quite get, I decided to write her her song.

"Goodbye Luv"
was that song.. just a melody and an acoustic guitar line.

I decided to dust it off as I always thought it had potential.. I just uploaded the rough mix, give it a listen and let me know what you think.

www.myspace.com/facile13

p.s. dominique, you better leave a comment to this! i want to know what YOU think most of all...

i heard jimmy singing..

2008-06-03T05:30:24Z

been home sick with the flu.. spent the evening learning how to use my recording gear more.. came up with this kinda weird cover of an Ours song "I heard you singing" kinda fun to sing even if i sound kinda crappy do to being sick..

i think he wrote it as a tribute for jeff buckley, so this is me doing a tribute to Jimmy Gnecco doing a tribute to Jeff..

weird

let me know what you think..

http://www.myspace.com/facile13

i bought some recording gear today...

2008-05-24T06:31:39Z

this was my attempt at an old bowie cover while trying to figure out how to use the software..

http://www.myspace.com/facile13

really really rough but i thought i'd share

Ive the face of a sinner but the hands of a priest

2007-09-08T09:14:14Z

Ive the face of a sinner but the hands of a priest

Theres a moon over bourbon street tonight
I see faces as they pass beneath the pale lamplight
Ive no choice but to follow that call
The bright lights, the people, and the moon and all
I pray everyday to be strong
For I know what I do must be wrong
Oh youll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet
While theres a moon over bourbon street

It was many years ago that I became what I am
I was trapped in this life like an innocent lamb
Now I can only show my face at noon
And youll only see me walking by the light of the moon
The brim of my hat hides the eye of a beast
Ive the face of a sinner but the hands of a priest
Oh youll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet
While theres a moon over bourbon street

She walks everyday through the streets of new orleans
Shes innocent and young from a family of means
I have stood many times outside her window at night
To struggle with my instinct in the pale moon light
How could I be this way when I pray to God above
I must love what I destroy and destroy the thing I love
Oh youll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet
While theres a moon over bourbon street

~sting
(moon over buorbon street)

psychonaut

2007-08-16T05:10:07Z

for devon

2007-08-03T06:55:28Z

I'm living without you
I know all about you
I have run you down into the ground
Spread disease about you over town

I used to adore you
I couldn't control you
There was nothing that I wouldn't do
To keep myself around and close to you

Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know
But I've run out of patience
I couldn't care less

I...
I...

Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know

I used to amuse you
I knew that I'd lose you
Now you're here and begging for a chance
But there's no way in hell I'd take you back

Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know
But I've run out of patience
I've run out of comments
I'm tired of the violence
I couldn't care less

I'm looking for a new

We were the talk of the town

I thought you were special

~garbage

remember..

2007-07-30T13:07:03Z

it was wild in the street
wild in the night
blistering cold in the cold daylight
i could feel your hands
pushing hard on me
and all the fights that i tried to fight fair
all the nights that you spent with me
i swear

do you remember?
'cause i remember?
do you remember?
'cause i remember what you said to me
remember like it was just some dream
but i lost my faith
did you lose yours too?
would you bleed for me?
i would bleed for you

and the blood gets thick
at the end of the night
you in my sheets like a sodium light
i could feel your skin coming off your soul
reeling me in like there's nothing you don't know

do you remember?
'cause i remember?
do you remember?
'cause i remember what you said to me
remember like it was just some dream
but i lost my faith
did you lose yours too?
would you bleed for me?
i would bleed for you

and i won't speak i won't write
i won't call you on the phone
won't listen to my (sick!) mind
if i hear you call me home

do you remember? cos i remember...
it's all i remember.. all i remember..

~black lab

plastixidol @ 2007-06-12T14:45:00

2007-06-12T21:47:42Z

We're not friends. We'll never be friends. We'll be in love till it kills us both. We'll fight and we'll shag and we'll hate each other till it makes us quiver, but we'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, child, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

in closing..

2007-06-12T06:13:04Z

you didn't hold my hair back..

just let it go

please now sugar..

2007-06-12T01:02:43Z

Talk to me softly
There is something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Somethin is changin' inside you
And don't you know

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

Give me a whisper
And give me a sign
Give me a kiss before you
tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinkin' of you
And the times we had...baby

And don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

And please remember that I never lied
And please remember
how I felt inside now honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight
Baby maybe someday
Don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry
Tonight